Seattle - 2011

It has been over a year and a half since my last post, and to try and put everything that has happened over that timeframe in this one individual post would be VERY long and almost impossible. So I don't plan to do that. My plan for this entry is to give a general overview of the changes I've made to my life and catch people up to where I am now.

The last 15 months of my life have been some of the most challenging, but have definitely been the most rewarding that I have experienced to date. When I first arrived in Seattle I was excited for the new chance that awaited me. A chance to actually LIVE my life and not let it be completely run by work. To get back to me.....whoever that was. Because back then I don't think I had ANY clue as to who I was. I only had a glimpse of the woman I wanted to be, and the path to get there seemed impossible. But after 15 months I sit here, still continuing on this journey I've started for myself but it does not seem impossible anymore. If anything, I feel it is the most reachable goal I could ever set for myself. And this is solely because of the support system I have surrounded myself with.

Last March marked the turning point in my mind of what needed to be done and the mindframe I needed to maintain to make this an achievable goal and begin being happy again. It was my cousin Caitlin's wedding. I was a bridesmaid, and so of course had the bridesmaid dress and was in all of the bridal party pictures. During the wedding I felt almost ashamed to be in the bridal party because of my own unhappiness with how I looked. I was very overweight and completely devastated by how I looked and felt. And I felt that my wonderful cousin Caitlin did not deserve to have me ruin/disgrace her wedding pictures with my overweight self. I had been aware for a long time that I had been gaining weight. Eating all the wrong things, not working out, and working 14+ hour days for almost every day of the week. I had no motivation to get myself going at that point but I knew that something needed to happen.

Another monumental thing happened to kick my mind into gear during that weekend at my cousin's wedding. My cousin's beautiful little girl Ella asked me a question on the drive back from the reception. She asked "Why is your belly so big?" You have to love how a child's observation and complete honesty can smack you straight into reality. It was the one thing that everyone had been unwilling to say that bluntly. Myself, my family, my friends. It was thing we were all very much aware of, but that no one spoke of. So when I got home I was determined to do something, and I've been doing something about it for the 15 months since.

In the last 15 months I've lost about 60 pounds and dropped 7-8 sizes, and through this period I've been able to continuously drop or maintain my weight. It is completely and utterly embarrassing for me to admit how badly I had let myself go, but the one thing I've learned over the last 15 months is that in order to move forward you cannot deny the past. You must be open and honest about where you have been if you intend to get where you're going. So thats what I intend to do.

So here I am. I don't consider myself a 'new and improved' me. I feel that I've gotten back to who I really am, and I still feel that I have further changes to undergo. I spent the last 15 months getting my life back in order. Reprioritizing the things that mean most to me. And as I previously said, I couldn't have done it without the support system I had around me. My mom, my sister, my friends, and my fabulous roommate Katie! These people continuously encouraged me throughout the process, even when I wasn't seeing the results as quickly as I wanted them. Especially my roommate Katie. It is amazing what happens when you live with someone that sees the goal you are striving for and pushes me every step of the way. She was an inspiration to me, in so many different ways, and I can't thank her enough for all that she did for me.

More recently I've found myself at a set of crossroads. A lot more than I would've asked for, but I'm not one to back down from a challenge. Two months ago I left my job at KPMG and entered the world of industry working in the Finance department at Symetra Financial. It is a huge change after having established myself at a company for 5 years, but the people I work with and the work/life balance I'm seeing is worth all of the new challenges that lie ahead of me at work. And I'm actually EXCITED about being challenged again.

I've also recently lost two of the people who were most constant in my world over the last 15 months. I ended my relationship with my boyfriend of the last 9 months. It was one of the hardest decisions I'd ever had to make, but I honestly believe that the decision to move forward and search out a path on my own is the best decision I could've made for myself. It has been a hard transition, and will continue to be hard but it will get easier as each day goes by. Also, my beloved roommate Katie moved back to Minnesota. She transferred with her company St Jude, and is also now living closer to her wonderful family. I know that this is truly an amazing opportunity for her and so I am nothing but happy for her. I will miss her dearly, but we both know that this is not the end of our friendship but only the start of a new part of it! Love you Katie!

So there you have it. What I call the shortened version of the last 15 months of my life. Its been a rollercoaster thats for sure, but after seeing how much change can come in that period of time it only excites me for the amazing things I know are coming ahead of me! It is with this positive attitude that I move forward into what will be what I'm sure will be another interesting 15 months!

xoxo
Ames