On a night where I should be enjoying the solitude and the calmness I'm restless. The first night in weeks for which I have had no responsibilities. No commitments. Just the ability to sit back and relax. But low and behold I'm antsy. Go Figure. Story of my life.
This weekend should prove to be a lot of fun and provide plenty of stress relief. First I have my work holiday party.....which I'm SO excited for. I didn't go last year and wasn't really interested in going, but this year is different. I'm firmly established in my company, i have a lot of friends to share the night with and it should prove to be a VERY fun night
Then sunday we have my dance team's holiday party. And i haven't seen my girls in a week because of my work schedule. I'm looking forward to this one probably even more than the other party. Just because I love these girls so much. They give me so much happiness.
Tonight got me thinking about a lot of things. Which tends to happen to me when I have too much time and nothing to focus my energy on. It had me thinking about love and relationships. About where i want to go in regards to that. Most of my friends from high school are married and with kids. Or like my cousins, they are engaged to be married. I'm one of the last of the cousins of my age to get engaged. And while its kinda sad, i also have no inclination to be in a relationship right now. I'm having absolutely way too much fun in my single life. Plus, I don't have the time to put forth a good effort to making a relationship work. And thats not fair to any man I'd decide to be with. So for now, I'll live my life as is and wait for the day that I finally realize I'm ready. Because if I have to ask myself if I'm ready to be committed than I'm not. The day will come and I'll know it without asking.....at least thats my philosophy.
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